Brand Naming Pro Tip: Search For A Brand Name Like It’s A New Hire

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A brand name has a job to do.

When you’re looking for a new product or company name, you need to create a job description for that name. Most companies create a list of qualities they want a name to have, but not a list of capabilities. And more often than not, that list of qualities includes things like  credibility, trust, reliability, honesty, transparency, quality, yada yada yada.  Wonderful qualities, all. But a name is a specialist, and these types of foundational brand positioning qualities are common to every business in existence. They need to be established by the other touch points of your brand.  “Not my job”, should be the response of any name candidate asked to perform these duties. In fact, using such qualities when grading candidates for your new name will result in the best qualified names not even receiving an offer:

Google

Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality

 

Slack

Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality

 

Impossible

Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality

 

Away

Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality

 

Goop

Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality

 

 

None of the over-performing names above can pass the Credibility, Trust, Reliability, Honesty, Transparency, Quality test.

Which is great, because your audience doesn’t look to your name for these sort of reassurances. But more importantly, it leaves the name free to have the kinds of qualities it needs to be exceptionally good at its job : Unexpected, Human, Engaging, Thought Provoking, Memorable, Disruptive, etc.  

And while we’re here, let’s once and for all time bury that old, misguided chestnut, “That’s fine for B2C, but a B2B name need to play by more buttoned up rules.” I don’t where this common “wisdom” came from, but it’s made me winch monthly for the entirety of my 23 year naming career. It’s never been true, yet swallowed whole by generations marketers. Even the once ultraconservative cardio surgery device makers left this behind decades ago  in the form of “Octopus” and  then “Heartstring” – to great financial reward.  Final relief from this ruinous misconception may have arrived in the form of Slack, but in my experience buttoned up B2B diehards will cling to the notion that Slack is an aberration, or that their company is the exception. All the merrier  for B2B branders who know the truth – that language, words and names have a universal way of connecting with people – B2B and B2C people.

Here’s what a job description for a name should look like:

Brand Name Job Responsibilities:

• Demonstrate to the world you’re different, creating clear & wide separation from your competitors.
• Go viral, propelling itself through the world on its own, becoming a no-cost, self-sustaining PR vehicle.
• Redefine and own  your category.
• Reinforce a unique positioning platform.
• Create a positive and lasting engagement with your audience.
• Provide a deep well of marketing and advertising images.
• Be the genesis of a brand that rises above the goods and services you provide, so that you’re not selling a commodity and/or competing on price.
• Be unforgettable.
• Support the positioning of the product/company
• And so on.

Qualifications:

Depending on the positioning of the product or company the name will represent, you’ll further screen name candidates for specifics, such as

• Personality – Warm? Fun? Futuristic? Mysterious? Sexy? Scientific? Confident? Superhuman? Quiet?
• Communication Skills – What part of the conversation in you industry should the name address, define, express or demonstrate?
• Personal Appearance – The way a name looks and sounds can communicate volumes, independent of the meaning of the word.  Product name “Trillium” has as a sci-fi look and sound, though it’s a type of flower.  Company name “Megagon” has the attitude of one of Godzilla’s rivals, even though it’s a mathematical term that describes vectors, harmony, and a million things coming together as one.

 

But what if you find the perfect candidate, except they have a criminal past? As long as they can carry out the Responsibilities and have the Qualifications, it’ll be fine: Hotwire, Accomplice, Wheelman.

Bad breath and a ghoulish smile? Don’t count them out: Bluetooth.  A complete lack of experience? Sign them up: Virgin.